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Older couples who are tying the knot frequently choose to write their own vows. They’ve lived longer and experienced far more together, and apart, than young, starry-eyed couples who are about to embark on their first real love affairs.
With this in mind, it’s wonderful to impart wisdom in their vows, to show the world that they have learned what life is all about and are now ready to move forward on a new phase together, ready to share with each other all they know. Wedding vows for older couples tend to be more realistic than those used by first timers, and contain fewer of the “love, honor and obey” lines from the staunchly traditional vows that exist.
Personalize every step of the way
When writing wedding vows for older couples, if you have been asked to assist with this very important task, it’s important that you know the intended bride and groom very well, or at least familiarize yourself with them. Ask them to tell you stories about how they met, how they fell in love, what they love most about each other, what they expect to get out of married life and anything else that seems pertinent.
Remember that when writing wedding vows for older couples, leave out anything that seems too cute or gushy. These are two people who have walked a thousand more miles than their grandchildren may have, and although to them, love feels new and fresh to them now, they’ve probably already done the “you are my heart”, “I can’t live without you” routine. Romantic, not desperate, is the way to go.
If the couple are religious or spiritual, be sure to incorporate special lines from the scriptures in their wedding vows. Whatever their religion, take time to understand it and ask them what means the most to them in the bible, Torah or other book. Wedding vows for older couples often include a good deal of spirituality and less creativity so go with what they’re hoping for, instead of trying to be colorful.
You can still use parts of the traditional vows, if that’s what the couple wants, but show them the old fashioned ones and ask them to show you which they would like to leave in and which they’d prefer to leave out. “In sickness and in health” might be absolutely vital to them, whereas “for richer, for poorer” may be of less significance. Wedding vows for older couples should be written with respect for their beliefs, wishes and hopes for the future.
If the bride or groom have special poems or verses that they would like included in their vows, then it is entirely appropriate to do so. Whereas young couples may write their own poetry and alternate with one saying one verse and the other saying the next, older couples often refer back to the classics by Keats, Browning or even Shakespeare. Here are some snippets that might be of use:
Robert Browning - “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.”
Henry David Thoreau – “There is no remedy for love than to love more.”
Michel de Montaigne – “If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. “
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
Wedding vows for older couples often demonstrate to the younger set that marriage is not all about roses, honeymoons and candlelit dinners. Rather, it teaches that marriage is a partnership of two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives truly making each other happy.