Maid of Honor Speech #2

Before I start I would like to say that ____ you look absolutely beautiful. For those of you who don't know me my name is ____ and for those of you who do, I'll have the usual, just put the bottle next to my purse.

When ____ first asked me to be her bridesmaid I felt delighted but as the big day approached I was informed that I would be doing a speech and a toast. Being the shy and retiring type I was trying to think of ways of getting out of it, but have any of you tried saying no to ____.

Then I thought what could I talk about, like all self respecting 30 something year old, I did research and came up with some sayings that I would like to share with you,

Some say that marriage begins when you sink into his arms and ends up with your arms in his sink. Others would say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, its love, after marriage it is self-defense.

They say that before marriage a man will lay awake thinking about something you said, after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it. Now, I'm sure that there are some of you out there that can relate to that.

Before I finish, I would like to offer my own advice for a happy and successful marriage, now just because I'm not married or never have been it doesn't mean to say I am now not an expert on it.

Groom, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, whenever you right, shut up.

The best way to remember an anniversary is to forget it just once.

Set the ground rules immediately and then do everything _____ says.

Road maps are always a good thing.

Never forget the two most important saying, you're right dear and okay buy it.
Never be afraid that _____ will leave you, she has spent years training you and she won't give that up lightly.

Women really do really need a pair of shoes for every outfit. So on that note before I get into any trouble, I'll propose the toast. To _____ and _____

A wedding day will be remembered
For all the joy it brings
A day of love and happiness
Of vows and wedding rings
A day of new beginnings
Learning what love truly means
Your wedding day is just the start
Of many hopes and dreams.

To the bride and groom!