Vow Renewal Etiquette

The root of why a couple decides to renew their vows lies in their intention of remaining a pair. Some do it to announce to the world that no matter what they’ve been through – good or bad – they mean to stick it out together to the end. Others choose to perform the ritual very privately, with just the two them making an intimate promise.

This leaves a lot of leeway as far as rules of etiquette are concerned; in fact, there really are no hard and fast rules, only perhaps a few helpful suggestions to make the ceremony special and to keep the focus on what you’re actually doing instead of turning it into a repeat of your original wedding. With that in mind, here are a few things you might want to keep in mind as you once again declare your love to that man or woman you’ve already done it with once.

Things You Both Definitely Will Want to Do

Do feel free to enjoy renewing your wedding vows within any venue with which you both feel comfortable. If she wants it in a church, and he wants it on the beach, it’s imperative to reach a compromise somehow or risk spoiling the occasion for one of the partners. It may take recalling your love for another while negotiating this tricky business, but remember, if you’ve been together for a considerable length of time, you’re most likely used to this kind of cooperation!

Also realize that wherever the both of you agree upon does not have to be up to some sort of “rule.” Promising yourselves to another 10, 20, or 40 years can be done on the rooftop of a favorite building, while skydiving, or even beneath the waters (while scuba diving) of the deep blue sea – it’s strictly your call!

Do go ahead with writing brand new vows! Even though the promises you made to one another however many years ago still stand, it’s quite all right to extend them with pledges that weren’t covered in the originals. You may want to promise “I will stay at your side despite the fact that you snore, eat crackers in bed, or squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end of the tube.”

Don’ts to Think About

Don’t dredge up old wounds. Telling your life partner that you want to continue your marriage even though he/she cheated on you, ran you into bankruptcy, or kicked the family cat won’t do anything except turn something that could have been a beautiful and touching event into just another weapon in your arsenal of old hurts. If you just can’t take your mind off some of these things, maybe you need to reconsider the entire affair (or rather, marriage!).

Don’t renew your wedding vows (or add to them!) solely as an excuse to throw a party, get away together, or to “show off” to your friends and relatives. Although parts of this article may appear somewhat lighthearted, this is not to say this event is something to take lightly. The whole idea of the event is to promise your commitment, truly, “til death do you part.”

Renewing your vows should be a joyous event, yet at the same time, maintain an air of seriousness. Yes, you can do both, and you can do it so that the both of you are pleased. And this occasion, along with the original wedding event, will then become two of your most cherished memories together.