The Groom’s Toast to Parents

After the main course at the wedding reception (or after dessert), the time comes for toasts to be made. Of course, you want to make sure the champagne has been distributed among all the tables and poured into flutes.

After the first speaker, who is usually a close relative or friend to the bride and groom, makes his or her toast to the bride, this person then introduces the groom. The first speaker can, alternatively, be the best man, who toasts both the bride and groom. We won’t offer suggested toasts, but here are some suggestions to the groom about delivering them successfully.

Keep It Short and Sweet

The groom’s toast to parents of the bride should not take more than three to five minutes. Beyond this, people begin to stir and fidget and lose track of what you’re saying. Remember: There will most likely be several other people toasting others of the wedding party after you speak, and you don’t want the toasting portion of the reception to take more than a few minutes – after all, this is a party! People want to celebrate, not listen to endlessly long toasts!

Keep everything light! What you say during your toast to the bride’s parents should not go into anything deep, dark, or profound. Poking fun is out, too, even though jokes are not. If you must poke fun, do it at yourself, but don’t go anywhere near pointing out your faults that others may view as a real “problem,” i.e., the fact you drink too much, gamble, forgot the bride’s birthday, etc.

Also, keep everything you say squeaky clean! Off-color jokes at weddings are real no-nos because not only is this a social occasion (likely very formal) held in honor of your future togetherness, there will probably be children in attendance.

Eye Contact vs. Staring

As you’re speaking, it’s good to make eye contact with the bride’s parents. But avoid staring at them during the entire toast! Most of what you will be saying will be about them, not directly to them, so vary to whom you look and modulate your tone of voice so that you don’t speak in a monotone.

You want to glance over the faces of the crowd as you talk, making eye contact with people randomly. Don’t look over people’s heads! This may have been what you were taught in school to avoid stage fright, but, instead, practice your speech first in a mirror with you, alone, and then with small groups of friends and/or family.

Relax and Be Sincere

Relax, relax, relax. Practice deep breathing exercises, if necessary. But don’t drink too much in an attempt to find that magic moment of being able to offer a toast without nervousness! It’s better to come off as a little nervous than intoxicated!

Last of all – be sincere! Not only will your new inlaws realize it if you’re standing there blowing smoke about how wonderful you think they are, chances are everyone else in the room will know it, too! Even if you have trouble finding nice things to say, there are bound to be a few good things about your inlaws you can expound upon in a toast – if only the fact they produced such a wonderful daughter. You might have to work on this, but it will truly be worth it in the long run – which could be many, many years!