A Glance at Bridal Shower Etiquette

Bridal shower etiquette stems from the legend of the first bridal shower itself. This legend tells how a couple, too poor themselves to get started in making a life of their own, were “showered” with gifts from loving friends.

The bride’s father refused to give her a dowry, and the groom had no money of his own. But through the generosity of friends, the couple managed to acquire the necessities of life, plus the love of their friends’ generosity bolstered the beginnings of their marriage.

Customs Change … But Sometimes Stay the Same

It makes sense today – especially since our culture no longer customarily provides dowries for brides – for the continuance of bridal showers, and that’s where bridal shower etiquette comes into play. Not only do gifts help a couple get started materially, the evident love in the gift-giving remains an important ingredient as well.

Bridal shower etiquette has changed over the years. Once a “woman only” affair, nowadays it’s quite common for the future groom to attend, as well as any male guests the groom wishes to have invited. However, many choose to forgo this and the groom is given a “bachelor party” instead to celebrate his last days in that particular fraternity of manhood.

According to traditional bridal shower etiquette, the maid or matron of honor hosts the bridal shower. It used to be considered bad taste for the mother of the bride or any other member of the bride’s family to throw the bridal shower, but things change. Nowadays no eyebrows raise if the mother, aunt, sister, or other female family member wishes organize this special, gift-giving party.

The Nuts and Bolts of Hosting a Bridal Shower

Bridal shower etiquette dictates that anyone invited to the shower also be extended an invitation to the wedding as well. It’s important to keep track, so when the shower is being planned, the host should take pains to keep a list of the invitees and place it somewhere safe for future reference.

For traditional woman-only showers, following typical bridal shower etiquette means inviting close relatives and friends of the bride, extending to cousins in the family tree. When those who would normally be invited – those just mentioned – have moved too far away to practically attend, sending an invitation anyway is considered good taste.

Mailing invitations a month in advance follows bridal shower etiquette in giving attendees plenty of time to purchase (or make) gifts and plan their schedules accordingly. Sending them to close to the date of the party may rush some people who’d truly like to attend but can’t; sending them to far in advance may cause some people to forget!

Don’t Forget the Most Important Thing – Hint: It Comes After the Shower

One of the most important rules of bridal shower etiquette is sending out thank-you cards afterwards. In the excitement of the upcoming wedding, this could conceivably be overlooked! It’s happened before and been the cause of many rifts within family and between friends.

The task of keeping track of what was given and by whom, along with postal address of each gift-giver should be designated to the host of the bridal shower or to one of the guests. Of course, the recipient – the bride, who also must mail them out, can only do the task of writing the individual notes of gratitude.

With these simple bridal shower etiquette rules in mind, giving a bridal shower should be a happy and memorable event. The main things to remember are to do it with organization, careful thought… and, of course, with love.

See Also:

Wedding Shower Invitations